It's a year since i held the little boy below in my arms and said goodbye. bad tempered, semi feral and averse to touch unto his last breath the vet had to corner him in my lounge to give him a sedative prior to the final shot. he hissed and spat, tried his utmost to bite our hands before giving up the battle and letting me gently embrace him as the light left his eyes. For the first, and only, time i was able to groom that amazing coat, fluff up the plume of a tail, tease out the tangles, touch the tummy, bury my face in that pelt without risking an eye. he was a manky cranky, but he was MY manky cranky and i loved him to bits.
Over his lifetime we lived in three different homes, starting off in the grime of the inner city, moving to the idyll of Lindisfarne and then a supported housing scheme in Hexham where he charmed the socks off the old ladies who forgave his foibles in order to tentatively fondle his ears. we shared fifteen years of tears and laughter. he provided a fair amount of the former during his angry, early years when leaving homelessness and aggression behind, and an abundance of the latter once a veneer of civilisation was accommodated and his inner kitten set free. there was going to be a furry shaped void in my home, on my bed and in my heart that would need filling.
Starved, sick, scared the plan was he would be with me for a couple of months to gain weight, heal, regrow lost fur and muscle then find a loving family to provide him with a forever home. he gets rescued, i get a furry and my heart isn't broken burying another one..... simples !!! if ever you want to make God laugh.... tell Him your plans !!! a year later The Fred is still warming my feet through the night and greeting me with slobbery, toothless kisses in the morning. he may look like a bonsai panther but his health issues haven't resolved and he will never be totally well, flu flares attack at the slightest change of routine or diet and he becomes a snotty, sneezy, listless, little old man overnight, making re-homing him a risky prospect. so it's been decided by those with The Power that he stays with me for the months or years left to him so he can live out his days quietly and stress free. If reincarnation were proven, and we had a choice as to what our reborn creature could be, i would come back as a cat but i would have to be MY cat.... stuff The Law Of Causality we are talking theoretical here.